That Damned Wall

Oh, don’t we hate that wall with such spite?

We smash into it and it stops us dead in our tracks.

We’re working away, working hard to give beauty to the problem before us and then … arch! Dried up! Tired! Bored! Sick of it! Sick of it all! Throw it all in!

I hate the wall. I hate it with all the lustful anger I can muster.

I hate hitting it, I hate staring at it. I hate that it makes me swear and cry foul as I wish upon it a destruction.

But we all know the truth — the wall is only in our minds. Our minds are what hold tight, not some outside force, so it is my self that I call a ‘fucking pain in the ass’. Such awful words on the tongue, aimed at my own mental anguish! Dreadful! Horrible!

When what is stopping us is our own minds,
we are trapped in an unbreakable bubble.

A joy in destruction

But I love bashing the wall — smashing it, destroying it. And because the wall doesn’t exist outside the confines of my consciousness I am the only one capable of obliterating it, so the bashing and smashing is ever more enjoyable as it’s a triumph over the self.

I love breaking through it. I love understanding what it’s like to try to push the boulder and what it’s like to actually sweat and cry and bleed to make it move.

That’s what it’s like to break through the wall, isn’t it? We strain with all the might our mental muscles will allow in the face of pointlessness.

We push and we cry.

We don’t understand — we fall down a dark pit and lose track of time and energy and thoughts. We think poorly, we act the same. Then … all of a sudden, a rush of cool air passes over us and we find the ground and smash through that awfulness and find answers.

Fuck the wall! More awful words, but the wall is an awful thing! The bastard deserves words so cursed!

A wall of idiocy

Why do we drive with goggles of mist and confusion and then suddenly claim surprise when we smash into it?

Wondering blindly, no wonder the wall feels
like something we run into.

Though… we don’t always smash into it, do we? We tend to blindly walk into it. Still hurts us like crazy.

This I despise with such hatred — to hit a wall I don’t see coming. It means that I think I know something that I don’t. I’m working along and then … fizzle .. pop .. It hits me … No … I hit it. And the Einstein quote rings true as I can’t explain the answer before me simply, because I don’t understand it well enough.

So the problem is that we don’t have the right knowledge, be it aesthetic knowledge buried in our memory, or practical knowledge, or process knowledge. Whatever is missing, we’re in sore need of a lesson.

An education will help us find our way from the wall!

The solution is education.

And effort. Thought and digestion and struggle will help.

Then when we go back to walking down our little creative path, we’ll know how to avoid the wall before us.

We’ll see it, we’ll laugh at it! We’ll mock it! What a silly wall, here in the middle of the path! Idiocy! Pure idiocy! Look, now it’s behind us, long behind us, as it turns into a little blip on the horizon. What a silly wall! How easy it is to avoid with a little knowledge! Ha ha ha!

Don’t let the wall beat you. Don’t let it stare at you and dance in front of you. Grit your teeth, work hard. Read and write and draw and think and throw it all out, starting again. The wall will crumble, I guarantee it.

Why not bash through it now?

But let it sit there? Walk away from it? Oh what a shame that is! We often feel that by walking away from a wall it won’t be there when we come back, but when was the last time you returned to a room to find a wall missing?

What happens is that while we are away we realise the answer we need. Our mind mulls it over below the surface. That is all. In the mean time, hours have been lost. Or days! Or weeks! A waste. Why not bash through it now, in this moment?

Work so they fear you

The more often you face off with the wall, the easier it’ll be to smash through it. Your first battle will leave you broken. The fifth? Perhaps beaten. 10th? Bruised … but then … then you will merely be scratched … then you will realise you haven’t been in a battle with a wall in so long because you have enough knowledge that the walls fear you. THEY fear YOU!

because you have enough knowledge that the walls fear you

Look at the walls quiver! Look at them hide!
They will build their own walls against you! Ha! Hahaha!

The walls will come together and utter to one another “arch, I have creative’s block, how can I stop thoughts with creative’s block?” Ha! Ha ha ha!

Work. Keep working. Change the way you work. Change the place or the method or the idea. But change something. Learn something. Work and think and draw and think. Write and think. Look and think. It is only thoughts that are needed. Lots of them. An army of thoughts! Thoughts with the power of a pack of beasts!

Fuck the wall as it fears the army of ideas that you have rushing behind you! Scream at it with a foul tongue and burning fists. Don’t let it smash you down, that is your role! Work hard! Think harder! Smash the wall!